WTF? BUNNIES?
by GreenTerror
Summary: Yes, a random...thing..bowt sushi, bunnies, modded ships, flan whackers and well you get the idea! yay!. Reviews and suggestions welcome!
1. Chapter 1: Bunnies?

**Hi peeps! Here is my random babbles of absolute randomness! YAY! my exam was real crappy...but hey...Enjoy!

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Do, not, own, them. Just the OC. OK?**

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It was a boring day on the Black Pearl. Billie decided to spice it up a bit. (Big thud is heard as she drops a cage load of bunnies into Jack's cabin). "There we are, much better", she said.

A while passed and Davy Jones had popped in for a visit.

"...so yeah, I've always wanted a pony since i was six", he eplained to Gibbs.

"OH BUGGER!! WHAT THE BLOODY HELL'S GOIN' ON 'ERE!!" she heard a shout from the cabin.

'oooo yay!' she thaught.

"Billie, why, are, there, bunnies, in, my, cabin???" Jack asked.

"Erm, errrr, there are bunnies in your cabin?"

"Yes, there are"

"Hmm, bunnies eh?" she loses interest and went to play with a sail rope...

Davy jones began to give her funny looks, as did Gibbs.

"FORSHAME! BEATEN BY A JAR OF DIRT!" she shouted. "HEY DAVY, CAN YEH LEV WETH ET?!!" she bellowed in a scottish accent.

Davy suddenly got very angry and began to throw bunnies at her.

"NOOOO! JACK! HEELLPP!COUGH COUGH COUGH IM DROWNING IN BUNNIES!!!"

"Oh, erm righto..."

Jack then began to use Will as a shield to get the bunnies of Billie.

"Will? HA! Ur an elf!!" she screamed uncontrolably in hysetrics for some wierd reason. "oooo sushi..." she then ran off to cut off Squidward's, I mean,**Davy's** beard of tentacles.

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**Review to tell me what you think and i may consider posting some more...Tah!! xx**


	2. Chapter 2: Shitty Flan Whacker

**Hi. Bored. Tah for reviewing! Don't own 'em. Just OC.

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After many attempts of cutting of Davy's squish-tenatcle-beard-thingy and failing, it was dusk. Billie swore she saw the Titanic on the horizon, but there was a possibility it could have been a spider dangling in front of her.

She had a hissing contest with Jack and Jack the monkey, and lost to Mr.Sparrow himself. She and the monkey formed a rebelious plot againt him, but the monkey became extremely annoying, so she aborted the idea.

"Oh sorry Billie!" Will squealed as he bumped into her. Billie just looked at him wide eyed.

"Your a sick little boy" she replied in a mothery-kinda-wierd tone of voice.

"Okaaay..." he trailed off.

"meh..." Billie ran off to see what sort of randomly evil things she could do next.

She had to go through a painstakingly boring talk with Elizabeth about, you know, "girly" stuff; boys, gossip etc...

"You know", Billie put her hand on Elizabeth's shoulder "you really are a shitty flan whacker". She finished with a couple of pats on her shoulder and an 'I pity you' look on her face, and wondered off.

"You." she pointed at Jack, "You've been using my eyeliner, HAVEN'T YOU?!"

"And you've been drinking all my rum." He answered.

Billie looked confused. "Damn, I'll get back to you on that one..." she inched away, "er, so Davy..."

"AAAGGGHHHH, NOT THE GIRL, SHE'LL CUT ME SQUISH-TENACLE-BEARD-THINGY OFF!! NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!"

"I'll come back later shall I?"

"ooo, could yeh make it 9:30? I'm fully booked until then."

"Sure thing boss!"

"Laters!"

They then did a french kiss and departed.


	3. Chapter 3: Think about it

**Hiya. Pleez could people review with some ideas? I have no inspiration right now...**

**Disclaimer as before...**

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Billie missed her appointment with Davy Jones, but wasn't that bothered. She was having a driking match with Jack and, strangley, Will. Obviously Jack was winning. After about 2 hours of drinking, evryone was pissed as a rat. They all started singing "WE ARE THE PIRATE WHO DON'T DO ANYTHING, WE JUST STAY AT HOME AND SIT AROUND, AND IF YOU ASK US TO DO ANYTHING, WE'LL JUST TELL YOU, WE DON'T DO ANYTHING!!"

Or was that bellowed...

The Black Pearl docked at Tortuga, and Jack met up with a farmiliar face.

"Hiya Norry!!" He shouted and did a coll handshake with Norrington.

"Yo Jack, ma man!" he answered.

"Wooooaaahh, are you gay??" Billie piped up.

"Billie, what did I tell you about thinking before you speak?" Jack hissed.

"Well...There's not always time is there? I mean think about it, if you think your gonna say something stupid, and you think you better think about it, said thinking may cause you to think it is right to say, but, the moment of saying the think you thaught of has gone."

"...what the fuck?..." Norrington was desperately confused.

Billlie ignored him and walked off with Jack singing "Be my bad boy, be my man, be my weekend lover, but don't be my friend...oh my god! scratch that last bit!"


	4. Chapter 4: Riverdance

**Oh My God! i am sooooooooooooo sorry! i haven't updated in ages!! my computer went all spazzy n shit and i lost the internet! ahhh! oh well all better now! here is chapter 4.**

**Oh and thanks to Redflower Fox and Chicaga for reviewing and to Redflower Fox for giving the ideas for this chapter! Cookies for you both!

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"Heloooooooooo people!!" Billie screeched as her and Jack walked into the tavern thingy. Everyone just stared at her like she was wierd or something. "whaaaaat? Quit staring! sheesh..." Her and Jack and some of the crew sat at a table and got rum an stuff, blah blah blah."Jaaaaaack?" "mmm?"

"where are the four corners of the world?"Billie asked

"well, there, erm, in the corners?"

"it's frikkin round, how can there be corners?"

"there just is"

"oh. MMKAY!"

after everyone was drunk they all trotted off to the Pearl. Billie was dancing around like a bug. Yes, a bug! "REMIX! WOOOO!... oh my god! lets have a riverdance competition!! wait wait wait Norry i have a present for you" billie rambled.

"what about me?" Jack asked pouting.

"Oh shut up veronica! i mean sean! i mean..JACK! good god to many people...jesus..."

"a present?" Norry replied curiously.

"oh, yes a present." and as quick as a kangaroo out popped Redflower Fox from behind the mast.

"Norry!! oh finally! geez how long was you gonna keep him from me Billie?! ha!"

"ahhhhahahahahhahahhaa, god i'm good at this matchmaker stuff...owww quit poking me Jack!" Jack was doing puppy dog eyes at Billie, and sniffing.

sniffle sniffle goes Jack

"oh for gods sake man...Back to the riverdancing... Miss Fox if you don't mind?"

"okay, you put your left leg in, then take it out..." she began

"You do the Hokey Pokey and you turn around, that's what its all about!! Yeah!!"Billie, continued??

So, that's what it turned out to be. Hokey Kokey Pokey what ever it's called mixed with riverdance. Crazy.

"Ok people places!!" Billie shouted

she got into place to and the music started. wooo here come the fog machines!! Strobe lights, lazers, UV lights, oooookaaay...erm aniwho will looked like a tumbling cheese, Jack looked actually quite fitting,as did billie and miss Fox, Norry was struggling and looked like a graceful Dodo, and Gibbs Cotton and Marty were sort of beeched whales.

Then, that buggering monkey had to spoil it. " Noooooooo, not the fog machine!!"Billie yelled. Yes. he ran of with the fog machine. Damn him. "Get, the, gun." aaaand soon enough everyone was lined up with some sort of battering,shooting, killing item. "GOOOO!!" Everyone yelled.

shots rang everywhere, until there was no more jack the monkey...YAY FOR MONKEY CRUELTY!!

"WOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" everyone reyjoyced and got a little more drunk, hell yes, it was a gooood night!

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**Wow! it's nearly christmas here! roll on presents!! Do not fear, i will indeed update soon. Don't 4get to review! much appreciated, but don't mention clowns or baked beans!! PLEEHEEHEEEZZ!**

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	5. Chapter 5: Christmas Spirit

**Okies. I would AGAIN like to thank everyone for reviewing, yummy marshmallows for you all! And to my faithul reviewer Redflower Fox, many thanks for those wonderful ideas! Of course i shal include them. If any one else has any ideas popping out of their pretty little heads and think it would be fun to chuck them in my fic, DO inform me, I welcome Ideas! Guaranteed to make you happy!**

**disclaimer, disclaimer, disclaimer. ...on with the fun! **

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So, it was nearing christmas, oh yes, indeed it was. Billie yay! its random time! was writing a letter to Santa, Father Christmas, St. Nick, whatever you call him. "D-e-a-r, S-a-n-t-a..." she wrote. "I would like for christmas, a cat toy wich has crinkly paperandstuffthat'sshinyanitrunsroundinaballwooooooo!!" She began immitating, eith her pen, what a cat would do with a crinkle ball, running and rolling around on deck. Jack,Will, and Davy omm god knows where he came from Billie froze and looked at them like they were crazy. "tt, mad as cheese you lot...christ..."

"And you invited her here why Jack Sparrow?" Davy asked. Jack glanced around with a neutral expression.

"you know, she's right, mad you lot, you look ill, like a coliflour"

"wait, I'm not finished with you" Billie pointed at Davy. She thundered towards him and jumped butt first onto him. "Now, for christmas, i'd like some of that cheese with the wax on, woohoo! such fun! Ehem... and eeerrrrmmm aaaaayy big box of rum truffles with the chocolate sprinkles on and, Jack's left boot."

"My left boot? your not 'aving that" Jack whined

"oh i think i am, now-"

"Erm, okay...?" Davy said confused.

"Yay! Ho Ho Ho and a bottle of rum! hmm thats not right, oh well santa has a beard and so do pirates, so, i'm stikkin with it...CHEESE WAX!!! YAY!!"

"Can we do Riverdance again?? That was fun" Jack asked

"Just because you liked it when you fell on me, doesn't mean i'd let you get away with it all the time, mista!"

Night Time

'Heheee' Billie thaught as she snook in the shadows, holding, DUN DUN DUUNNN! a peice of Mistletoe!!! AHHH, LES HORRUERS!! yes thats french for 'the horror'

She stuck it to the main mast of the Black Pearl, needless to say it looked desperately out of place.

cockadoodledoo! Morning

Well now, Miss Fox was, dare I say it, not with Norry! ohhhh the pain of it all, it's not natural!

OMG OMG OMG I JUST GOT THIS GROSS IMAGE OF DAVY JONES IN A RED BIKINI!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH takes a breathAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA. ew.

Aaaaanyways, oh look here comes norry! Yes you guessed it She spied the mistletoe and...well do i need to describe it??

Oh good lord! DAVEY JONES IN A BIKINI! IT BURNS!!!!

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** Well my little muttonchops, we have come to the end of another chapter of, well, certainly not normal stuff... Reviews and ideas are welcome blah blah! you know the drill! Thankyou!**


	6. Chapter 6: Toothpaste!

**So i know its long since i updated much apologys, please forgive me!**

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MMkay. Billie was skipping around on deck and singing. Then she had a brainwave.

"Tooth paste! that's it!!" she then ran off to get a tube of toothpaste. When she returned she decided to draw moustaches on everyone while they were sleeping. Including Elizabeth which in Billie's opinion suited her.

(30 mins later)

"AAAAHHHHH!!!"

Satisfaction of knowing she had once more been a nuisence to the crew of the Pearl. 'heheheheheee' she tittered to herself.

Jack came from the cabin, toothpaste in his already existant moustache.

"Want me to lick that off?" Billie said smiling evily. She then went up to him and whispered in his ear " Will's better in bed!" and ran off laughing hystericly. Jack looked extremely puzzled. If not a little disgusted.

Billie was on bebo when Jack next found her. "Oooo!! Look at the fat kid falling out of the ride!!" She then broke again into hysterics at the vidoe of "fat kid falls out of ride".

"You never take your medicine do you Billie?" Jack asked. " Have you tried cutting down on my rum?"

"mmmmNo...a haha...your really weird..." Was her reply. (ha, i love that of charlie and the chocolate factory!!)

"I didn't think so...oh well, wanna stop at a nearby island, build a fire, get drunk and party the night away?" Jack asked.

"Now your thinkin on my level!"

So they did.


	7. Chapter 7: Modifications!

Twas night and Billie was yet again being a random pain.

Jack was walking past so she ran to the main mast and started dancing round it. " 1,2,3,4, let me hear ya scream if ya want some more, like aaahhh, push it push it, watch me work it!" she sang.

Jack just looked like a puppy in love. hehe.

"oh, hi Jack, why staring? Do tell." Billie said.

Jack blushed and walked off. Meanwhile the rest of the crew was staring like they were bowt to pounce on Billie.

"Try it, and I'll eunuchify all of you!!" she spat whilst doing a kong-fu type pose. She walked off to find a BIG boom box. Being Billie she found one.

She pounced from behind the stereo as Jack walked by. "I'm Billie-xzibit n i'm gunna pimp ur ride maaan!"

"Er...ok?"

Billie turned on a booming tune and set to work with the 'expertly trained' crew. Humming along to the song she added speakers, bass systems, exhaust pipes?, a 'body kit', shined the 'paint job' added neons and strobe lights. Billie revealed the new Black Pearl to Jack. Needless to say he was gobsmacked.

"I dunno what you've done..." she turned up the music "But i Love it!"

"well duh, its ya know, The latest modded ship-thing, anihoo lest test drive her!"

so they sped round the sea being chased by various police ships but in vain. Ha. can u imagine it! wooot.


	8. Chapter 8: Chocolate cake

**mkay ppl. chapter 8. its a strange one...**

**Disclaimer...i do not own POTC godammit! but boy i wish i did...hehe...**

**Some credits to Redflower Fox, my ever faithful reviewer. Proof i do put suggestions in my story!**

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So where were we? ah yes, speeding around the ocean in a 'pimped up ride'. About that. Well, the real Xzibit travelled back in time and sewed all of them for copying the program, but being pirates they told him where to go, so now they're all back on the island from in chapter six. Which i should have called plan P.R.U.I.W.L.B. (Party on a Random,Uncharted Island With Lots of Booze!).

Billie was sat on a rocky outcrop when she saw it. The talking purple sea cucumberwalked up to her and said in an austrailian accent "G'day mate, 'ow ya doin?"

Unphased by this purple sea cucumber she replied " I'm boooooooooaaaaaarrrrddd!"

"Well why don't you visit Jack?" it asked

"Jack? hmmm. I need something totally random to do. I know! dancing spiders with roller skates on! ha! i'm a genius!" and with that Billie got up, stepped on the purple sea cucumber and squished it. Then ran up th beach laughing.

'Now, where to find spiders?' she pondered her idea. 'God i need chocolate cake!'

"CAAAKKKKEEE! I NEED CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE!!!" she ran up to will and rugby tackled him "I need chocolate cake godammit boy!!"

"AAAAARRRGHH, JAAAACK HEEEEELP! meep!"

"Why do I always have to help yeh?" Jack asked

"BECAUSE YOU BRAUGHT HEEERR!" will screamed whilst being mauled by Billie.

"Meh, what do I care..." Billie began charging at Jack, "OK I CARE, I CARE!!!" he screeched putting his hands up in a pitiful form of defence. Down he went.

"RUGBY TACKLE!! Now, look me in the eye and tell me we have no cake!" billie was about a centimetre away from Jack's face with an evil insane glare in her eyes and had his arms pinned down whilst she was lay on him. Hmm. Interesting.

"We..."Jack closed his eyes tight shut"Wehavenocake!" and awaite Billie's uproar.

Instead she just flopped down and went " eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrr!! whhhhyyyyyyyyyyyyyy? ooooo sand look at it go!" so she ran off and splattered wet sand at Jack, who lay there dumbfounded. "Ha. i got you. nyaaaanyaaa!"

"oh yeah?"Jack said and got billie back with the sand. "take that beatch"

"HOMG how could you?" splat! sand pied.

three hours later and Jack and Billie got Will, Elizabeth, Norry and evri 1 else invoved in what will become to be known as 'The Great Sand War of the Caribbean'.

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**Ooooo. news flash ppl! i'm writing a non random story atm. so when i finish Bunnies I shall type it up and post it. Nxt chapter will be better i promise. **


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